After Death
by RejectElephant
Summary: Paul tries to figure out his relationship with John after his death. He recalls memories he shared with John. If you can’t tel already it’s a mclennon fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

John died on December 8, 1980. It was December 11, 1980, and I wasn't doing the best. I couldn't wrap my head around him being dead. I kept thinking he was just a call or a flight away, but he wasn't.

It was so close to Christmas. I wasn't going to be able to see him or call him to tell him Merry Christmas. Why was this so difficult‽ It's not the first time someone I know has died, so why was this different‽

"Paul?" Linda said breaking my train of thought. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not fucking alright!" I yelled but then regretted. "Sorry for yelling."

"It's alright... Would you like some tea?"

"Sure."

My mind began to wander back to John. Back to all the fond memories of youth.

_John was leaning on me while we were walking down the street. He mummbled something slurring his words. I couldn't make out what he was saying. _

_"What's that?" _

_"You're the best fucking person I ever fucking met!" He slurred and giggled. _

_"That's very nice now let's get you home." _

_"Can I go to your house? It's closer. _

_"Fine." _

_We eventually got there alright. John was still going on a rant about triangles or some shit. I unlocked the door and John stumbled inside. I didn't have a guest bedroom, and we both had to go to the studio in the morning. We crawled into bed and John did he always did when we slept in the same bed, cuddle me. _

"Here you go!" Linda said handing me a cup.

"Thank you." I took a sip and it made me feel calm and relaxed.

_We woke up and frantically got ready for the day. John was still hungover and exhausted. He was complaining about how his head hurt and how he was "so tired." _

_"Stop your bitching and get ready!" _

_When we were finally presentable, we walked out of the house. We drove to the studio and started work. _

"What are you thinking about?" Linda asked breaking my train of thought.

"Nothing important." I lied.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked down the stairs and poured myslef a glass of water. I tried to be quiet since everyone was asleep. My mind wandered back to memories.

_John tied a red string around my finger. I looked at him clearly confused. What the hell was he doing? I remembered he had taken acid about an hour ago. _

_"We're all binded by red string." Is this what he thought string theory was? He tied the other end of the string to his finger. _

_"What the hell are you going on about‽" _

_"We're always going to be connected by a red string." I had no idea what he was talking about but I pretended to know what he was talking about. _

_"Even is the string isn't there, to there." John was always so fucking weird. _

_"You're such a werido." I giggled. _

I grabbed a coat and walked outside. I took another sip of water and looked up to the sky.

"If only there was a string." I sighed.

He's gone now and I should learn to except that. His funeral was going to be in 3 days. I don't know if I was going to be able to go. I should go I mean I owe it to John.


	3. Chapter 3

The kids were playing in the yard. I watched them run around like maniacs. I got no sleep last night, I was exhausted.

_"I'm so cold." I whined. _

_We were sitting in a cab driving to a hotel. John was sitting next to me. _

_"Stop your complaining please!" He said rubbing his temples. He always got headaches after a show. _

_"But I'm cold." John looked like he was about to murder me. He put his arm around me to try and warm me up. _

_"I'm still cold." I joke. _

"Paul? Are you okay?" Linda snapped me back into reality.

I wasn't with John, I was with Linda and the kids. A part of me hated that. Another part accepted it, I felt guilty for that.

"I'm fine Lin I think I just need some more sleep." I excused.

"Go inside and lie down, I'll watch them."

I staggered my way inside and sat down on the couch. I felt so exhausted it's been a long couple of day.

_I held the phone to my ear. My hand had a firm grip on it. John ended the conversation differently than normal. _

_"You know I love you right?" He said in a hushed tone, like he was trying to be secretive about it. _

_"Yes."_

_"Do you love me?" His voice still in a hushed tone. _

_"Of course!" How could be ask such a question? He was my best friend after all. _

_"Well I'm going to when to go record stuff." He said quickly before hanging up. We'd been on the phone for an hour. He's kept them waiting for a long time._

That was one of the last conversations I had with him. He seemed so cheerful, but I guess that's easy when you don't have a bullet in your brain. I winced at the thought.

It's so weird how someone can be gone so quickly. One minute they're fine, the next they're dead.


End file.
